I’m a huge Fantasia fan, and like a good fan, I had to watch her new reality show on VH1. As I was reading over the episode description I immediately got excited.
The first episode is entitled “No More Freebies”. I assumed that the premise of this episode was going to be examining the money exchanges between fantasia and her family since she has become a celebrity. And generally that’s what it was about. But I had higher expectations in that I thought that the show was going to adequately and intelligently discuss a common, but also overlooked issued affecting many poor and impoverished African-Americans; the desire/impulse to provide for one’s family to the detriment of one’s own life.
Growing up in poverty has fundamentally left it’s mark on how I view money, family ties, and family financial exchanges. My family has always given in a cyclical fashion: when one person has it they pass it on to the next. To add to that, the person with more money was also expected to give more because they had more to give. This cyclical dissemination of funds reinforced our family ties, and in my head, made us closer because we realized that we couldn’t make it on our own. But at which point does it become a burden? At what point do you say i’m not going to give you xyz anymore in order to preserve myself?!?!?
I must admit that i’ve been going through it lately because of this. I feel such a way about my mom and her current financial situation that it makes me emotional. I don’t want my mother to go without, but damn sometimes she makes stupid financial choices and i’m left to help fix. I feel indebted to her because 1. she is my mom, and 2. she raised me and my sister solo on an income of 25k or less for so many years. Kudos to her and i’m very grateful that she made it stretch.
I think what the Fantasia show tried to capture was that deep connection that poor african-americans have in regards to finances and family. Not to say that all people are about family, but when you have sensitive and grateful people like myself who recognize that I never would have made it without my mom, than you also see this deep, sometimes dysfunctional, financial relationship that can develop…which I think is a direct result of poverty. Because i’ve been expected to provide financially ever since I was young, the normative script of parent taking care of child is absent and something else manifests. The principle at the end of the day is great…take care of the family, but because of poverty and structural violence i.e. poor school systems, the pressure may force people into unhealthy behavioral patterns i.e. either giving all they’ve got or hustling to provide for the family. Neither of those are conducive; the “i’m gonna do anything for my family script” needs to be addressed, redressed, and put back into a healthy context or else we will continue to see things like Keyshia Cole saying…”I had to leave my family alone.”
Well after watching the show, I realized that I clearly over analyzed the title of the first episode and what I thought vh1 was going caused I thought the first episode suck major balls and was more reality tv tomfoolery.
Peace.
p.s. have people recognize this to be true?
Drop Knowledge, Spread Love, & Do You!
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